Fed Up with near enough everything

Dear whoever decides to read this
It has been a tough year infact all years seem to be tough all the time i allways look back and think damn i was depressed or this wasnt right with me or that, but then nothings ever perfect is it? and does everyone do that? and then i feel stupid for feeling down but then i think everyone deserves a little sunshine in their lives so at the moment im waiting for some literally aswell!
from reading the news and listening to the radio according to many this world is damned with the wasted youth, gang culture, rising prices of everything can i ask again Where is the happiness and sunshine? things cant be all that bad can they? and back in the day they cant of been all that rosey?
And then apparently uni is a waste of time aswell? even though you bust your gut to get into a good one and i would really like to no just so i dont waste all my non existent money on going and getting a degree which amounts to absoloutly nothing.
Then i turn on the radio and i cant stand to hear all these love songs because their either sleazy or just too soppy i mean why should i want to listen to that? but apparently im cold hearted and am afraid of relationships but i still maintain the fact that when i meet a guy i want to be with ill have no reservations or even if i do ill be able to put them aside because i feel its right as of yet that hasnt happened and im not going to pretend im in love with someone when i no in a year or 2 ill barely remember their name.
ontop of that thers friends argh they annoy me like i love them but theyr in like some little bubble and the people we no are boring which i hate seriously partys with all of them? URGH but then you no if you dont go youll miss out on whats happening also thers this party in a couple of weeks and this boy best not go and pull this other girl because that will just urgh and im trying to behave myself at the moment but its never easy to do the right thing is it? i just need to do something exciting something that will make me feel alive but i feel so restricted and i want to get up and leave there must be other people who feel this way? its just it feels like thers allways so much happening with everyone else and good things in their lives and it totally misses me out! which is unfair and when it does seem something good is happening theirs allways a problem anyway so it never does? i understand you cant allways have everything but i would like something! i dont havee friends i can be open with and trust all the boys i no are idiots, its difficult but i shoulod just suck it up and stop being so weak but its so boring i need to go places and meet new people and see different things. i just cant seem to do anything right and you would think i could because if you met me youd see a really happy bubbly person and its not that im not its just that noone takes the time of day or cares enough to find out if im okand i am but im not its wierd i no!  Sometimes i just feel like im surounded by people but im all alone and even if i scream they wont pay attention! ahhhhhhhhhhh well such is life eh?